Reasons I am not an Elf, Angry or otherwise

As a person who is rather diminutive in stature, I occasionally hear (supposedly) hilarious comments about my height.  Historically, most of these have come from my brother.  Several years ago, for reasons I cannot remember although I think we were in Galena, Amy referred to me as an angry elf. Like a toy-making, Christmas loving, Santa serving elf, but angry. After she called me an angry elf, I probably did get angry. But in a very human, non-elfish, kind of way. Here is a list of differences between me and an angry elf:

1. I am at least a foot taller than any elves. 
2. I do not subsist on the following four food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corn, and syrup. I don't like syrup or candy corn. 
3. My ears are not pointy.
4. I do not wear curly-toed elf shoes. 
5. I do not know how to build or fix toys (or anything). Even the angry elves know how to build toys. 
6. While I do work for a white-haired old guy, it's not Santa Claus. 
7. I hate snow, while elves clearly love snow.
8. I do not look good in green.
9. I own no pointed hats with bells on the end. 
10. I don't live in/near a toy workshop.
11. I am afraid of flying reindeer.  
12. Santa's elves are not real. I am, in fact, a real girl. 

So in conclusion, I am not an angry elf. If you hear otherwise, I hope you know it's a lie.