Cake Is The Universe's Most Perfect Creation

Cake is the best food ever.

Cartoon cakes!

It comes in a variety of flavors, with different fillings, toppings, and frostings! Cake comes right-side up and upside down! Cake can be a billion layers thick or just one layer! Cakes come in all shapes! Cake has different levels of density! Some are light and fluffy and some are heavy and dense! There is even a cake based in cheese--cheesecake! Cake can be educational! It can be used to illustrate things like how fire breathing dinosaurs might look if they were made out of frosting.

A direct result of the Big Bang, cake is amazing. 

Amy told me that to eat cake after drinking is "gross."

I say this to Amy: That's not true. That is a lie! Some cakes even have booze right in them!

Would this margarita cupcake be complete
without tequila? Amy loves tequila!

And because I love you so much, be prepared for a surprise cake telling you that cake and booze go together like peanut butter and jelly, condoms and sex, Chicago and summer, or high school and plaid, at some point in the future. You are welcome, in advance, for this amazing cake.

Cake can be used to tell people things you aren't comfortable saying out loud. Like the future cake I will be giving Amy reminding her how good cake is after drinking.  Because just writing a blog post about is clearly not enough.