It's science!

Something Amy and I have in common: a love of science.  We both love science experiments, performing them and being the subject of them. Most of our experiments are performed in bars and always end with someone saying, "No, it's science!"  A recent experiment Amy participated in, which led to more science, took place on Halloween. Colin hypothesized that by pouring the rest of the brandy in the sangria, it would taste better.  I couldn't drink it, but Amy drank a ton and loved every sip (much later, she had to go sleep it off Margaret's bed).


So Colin's hypothesis was correct. Sangria+More Brandy=Delectable Drinks


About halfway through our evening, and two thirds of the way through the pitcher of sangria, Amy declared to the room, "Dudes get morning wood because they have full bladders!" We all laughed and tried to argue with her that no, that's not why. However we didn't know the real reason. And while I'm a little fuzzy on how the conversation actually went, I do remember lots of emphatic head shaking from Amy and hearing her invoke the finality of, "No, it's science!" 


And while I thought this was another one of your lies Amy, it turns out this is only partially a lie! Morning wood, or Nocturnal Penile Tumescence as it is known in science, happens during the REM. REM sleep excites the brain while the body is in deep relaxation which can be stimulating for man parts. However, Wikipedia (the authority on all science) also tells me that there is evidence a full bladder can stimulate a reflex erection because of nerves in the spine. So, way to tell half the truth Amy! While I'm glad you didn't lie outright to me this time, you're suspiciously knowledgeable about the mysteries of morning wood...

You think your arm muscles are getting smaller and I think you're a liar!

Amy is totally ripped. She has the biggest, most ladylike guns ever. Amy is a prettier, younger version of Popeye, and doesn't even need the spinach boost! Awhile back, she told me, "I think my arm muscles are shrinking!" Amy was very deeply upset over these recent (imagined) developments, but because I am an amazing friend, I made her feel so much better when I called her a liar. Because her arms are still cut. And then, because Amy is such a good friend, she punched me in the arm. With her "shrinking" muscles.  It still hurt a lot and left a big mark.

As this illustration clearly depicts, Amy is a big, strong, muscley liar. Aren't you Amy?