Cake Is The Universe's Most Perfect Creation

Cake is the best food ever.

Cartoon cakes!

It comes in a variety of flavors, with different fillings, toppings, and frostings! Cake comes right-side up and upside down! Cake can be a billion layers thick or just one layer! Cakes come in all shapes! Cake has different levels of density! Some are light and fluffy and some are heavy and dense! There is even a cake based in cheese--cheesecake! Cake can be educational! It can be used to illustrate things like how fire breathing dinosaurs might look if they were made out of frosting.

A direct result of the Big Bang, cake is amazing. 

Amy told me that to eat cake after drinking is "gross."

I say this to Amy: That's not true. That is a lie! Some cakes even have booze right in them!

Would this margarita cupcake be complete
without tequila? Amy loves tequila!

And because I love you so much, be prepared for a surprise cake telling you that cake and booze go together like peanut butter and jelly, condoms and sex, Chicago and summer, or high school and plaid, at some point in the future. You are welcome, in advance, for this amazing cake.

Cake can be used to tell people things you aren't comfortable saying out loud. Like the future cake I will be giving Amy reminding her how good cake is after drinking.  Because just writing a blog post about is clearly not enough. 

Why Doesn't Amy Want To Be My Internet Friend?

I am a (somewhat) early adopter of new social media. I joined Facebook back when you still had to have a college email address, I've been on Twitter forever and I started using Pinterest last summer when there was no one interesting to follow. 

Most of my close friends (like all four of them) are not so enthusiastic about social media and I totally understand. When Facebook was new and shiny and called The Facebook, none of my close friends from home were on it. Scattered at colleges throughout the country during our senior year, I had to settle for stalking them via AIM. Post-college, they still didn't join. It was only years later, when it was not nearly as exciting or fun did my real life friends start joining the world of social networking.

It was February 2009 when Amy finally joined the modern world and got herself a Facebook profile. 

Being Amy, she immediately had about 372 friends. Oddly enough, I was not one of those friends. Amy didn't want to be my internet friend! When asked about this Amy said she, "couldn't find," my profile. Clearly, this was a lie. We have many internet friends in common. Amy just didn't want to be my internet friend.  

More recently, I have been telling Amy about Pinterest and how much she will love it. For months now I've been explaining pinning to her and using it as a recipe source (Amy loves recipes!). I have sent her several invitations. Amy never used these invitations, thinking pinning would be too big a distraction from schoolwork. Today, Pinterest suggested I start following her! Amy secretly joined Pinterest, and not only didn't she tell me, she didn't even follow me! Even though we're friends in real life, Amy doesn't want to be my internet friend and I can't figure out why. 

Maybe because I write about all the lies she tells me and put it on the internet? 

That can't possibly be it.