Cake Is The Universe's Most Perfect Creation

Cake is the best food ever.

Cartoon cakes!

It comes in a variety of flavors, with different fillings, toppings, and frostings! Cake comes right-side up and upside down! Cake can be a billion layers thick or just one layer! Cakes come in all shapes! Cake has different levels of density! Some are light and fluffy and some are heavy and dense! There is even a cake based in cheese--cheesecake! Cake can be educational! It can be used to illustrate things like how fire breathing dinosaurs might look if they were made out of frosting.

A direct result of the Big Bang, cake is amazing. 

Amy told me that to eat cake after drinking is "gross."

I say this to Amy: That's not true. That is a lie! Some cakes even have booze right in them!

Would this margarita cupcake be complete
without tequila? Amy loves tequila!

And because I love you so much, be prepared for a surprise cake telling you that cake and booze go together like peanut butter and jelly, condoms and sex, Chicago and summer, or high school and plaid, at some point in the future. You are welcome, in advance, for this amazing cake.

Cake can be used to tell people things you aren't comfortable saying out loud. Like the future cake I will be giving Amy reminding her how good cake is after drinking.  Because just writing a blog post about is clearly not enough. 

It's science!

Something Amy and I have in common: a love of science.  We both love science experiments, performing them and being the subject of them. Most of our experiments are performed in bars and always end with someone saying, "No, it's science!"  A recent experiment Amy participated in, which led to more science, took place on Halloween. Colin hypothesized that by pouring the rest of the brandy in the sangria, it would taste better.  I couldn't drink it, but Amy drank a ton and loved every sip (much later, she had to go sleep it off Margaret's bed).


So Colin's hypothesis was correct. Sangria+More Brandy=Delectable Drinks


About halfway through our evening, and two thirds of the way through the pitcher of sangria, Amy declared to the room, "Dudes get morning wood because they have full bladders!" We all laughed and tried to argue with her that no, that's not why. However we didn't know the real reason. And while I'm a little fuzzy on how the conversation actually went, I do remember lots of emphatic head shaking from Amy and hearing her invoke the finality of, "No, it's science!" 


And while I thought this was another one of your lies Amy, it turns out this is only partially a lie! Morning wood, or Nocturnal Penile Tumescence as it is known in science, happens during the REM. REM sleep excites the brain while the body is in deep relaxation which can be stimulating for man parts. However, Wikipedia (the authority on all science) also tells me that there is evidence a full bladder can stimulate a reflex erection because of nerves in the spine. So, way to tell half the truth Amy! While I'm glad you didn't lie outright to me this time, you're suspiciously knowledgeable about the mysteries of morning wood...